I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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