Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish I only lived at night.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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