yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
