i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
