Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
