Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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