Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
