We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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