oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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