She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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