Non-Jews are for practice
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
