Pappa wants mamma naked
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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