Everything about him screamed your future.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
