I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
