We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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