If i come over, it means nothing
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
