I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
