they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
