Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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