It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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