Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
