So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
