so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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