were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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