Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
