If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
