i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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