at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
