You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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