Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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