Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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