No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize