chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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