Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
