Your mouth is God's brothel.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
