Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
