just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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