Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
