He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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