im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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