how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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