please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
