You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
