Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
