fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
