i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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