if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
try to milk me bitch
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