Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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