I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
