dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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